Geek: Apple Meets with Press. Apple Juice Expected ...
Apple's iPhone 4 has been under scrutiny, now Apple steps up to say a few words.
Well dear readers, today is the day. As many of you already know Apple has been embroiled in complaints, lawsuits threats, and hilarious parodies all focused on the “dropped signal” problem with the recently released iPhone 4. Today Apple will be holding a special press conference at 10:00 PST to, presumably, address these issues. And if you didn’t know that, go away. You just aren’t geeky enough.
Since the press conference was announced there has been a flood, no a tidal wave, no a tsunami of speculation on what the black turtle-necked leader of the Apple cult will say to his devotee minions. Probably the most preposterous of them all is the idea that Apple will issue a recall on the iPhone 4. Needless to say, we doubt that will happen. However, not to be left off the bandwagon, we do have our own prognostications for the event. So let’s go to the first ever Kung Fu Drafter List of Predictions:
- Apple finds a way to blame AT&T.
- Bumper cases will be free. Previous buyers get iTunes credit.
- Apple will announce a new iPhone Hand Bumper that wraps the hand in conductive rubber and will retail for $149.99.
- Voluntary return of iPhones will be free of restock fees. Previous fees repaid with iTunes credit.
- Steve Jobs will admit that he is a cylon.
What we are sure of is that there will be NO recall of the iPhone. Anyone who says otherwise is just smoking crack.
With coverage of the dropped call issue raging across the kingdom of nerds and sheep, there is no doubt that whatever Apple does will be huge news. Be sure to catch live coverage of the event on one of Kung Fu Drafter’s favorite blogs, Engadget. And if you happen to find out what happens at the conference before we do, leave us a comment. Unless it is that Jobs is a cylon. We already knew that …
- KFD -
Kung Fu Drafter
Well the press conference has come and gone and Steve Jobs has mesmerized the phone buying public. Now no one wants to be a Negative Nancy, but touting out other smartphones and showing that diminished signals can be replicated does not excuse Apple. We don't care what Steve says.
Of course Apple couldn't just hold a press conference to admit to a problem. No, it has to look like that is secondary to the amazing announcement that the WHITE iPhone 4 will be coming at the end of July. Really? A new color and that is supposed to distract the lawyers, angry users, and general public? Well apparently it did. Go Steve!
Now on the matter of the dropped signal, Apple did come through on a couple of our predictions. Apple will be supplying free cases to users and providing refunds to the poor saps customers who previously paid $30 for a "Bumper Case", i.e. rubber band. And, if that isn't enough to satisfy those malcontents who actually expect the premier Apple iPhone to make calls, well they can return their phone without threat of a restocking fee. Well, as long as it hasn't been over thirty days they can. Hey, Apple Loves its users.
For a full blow by blow accounting of the conference check out Engadget's live (well it was live earlier) coverage. If you are as fed up with Apple news as we are then just forget it and go get a Droid X. Which reminds us, we still believe that Jobs is an cylon.
- KFD -
Reader Comments (1)
"Apple will announce a new iPhone Hand Bumper that wraps the hand in conductive rubber..." I like this one. Blame the hand not the phone.